far from home...confessions of a bad conversation

today has been, well..a day.  yup that kind of day.  the kind where things go a little sideways and then you end up yelling at your mama.  my mama lives far away in a land called oklahoma, and here i am in cali-forn-ia.  the last time she saw my wee turtles they were 5 and 7.  it was a short visit, we were there for a funeral. they are 7 and 10 now. that's NOT how i want them to remember her.  i don't have a lot of extra cash but i can scrape up a plane ticket.  i just want her here, for my kiddos.  oh i miss her too, but that ship sailed awhile ago.  my turtles however deserve grand-parental love!  feeling a little selfish on behalf of family, feeling a little guilty for working too much and just plain missing my mama.  too bad i came off like a bitch during that conversation.