Sunday, August 30, 2009

thanks to my brother-in-law who...

reminds me to Keep it Positive.

Looking back over my last few posts I think they have taken on more of a negative tone than I like. I seem to be manifesting the mediocre as of late. Well, that just won't do.

I don't find myself to be an overly mystical sort of gal but I do have the inherent belief that thoughts are things. I loved The Secret because it pointed out to me how often I tend to think of things in the wrong way. I really do focus my efforts on what is not happening in my life. Here is what IS happening & what I have to be grateful for;
  • we are moving to NorCal East Bay area in 2 weeks.
  • my husband has a job to transfer with, which lends a sense of stability to our lives.
  • we have a pair of very lovely friends who are allowing us to share their living space while we search out one of our own.
  • we are spending less than we are saving right now, which may not be much, but I have faith in the mama & papa dollar theory from "It's a Wonderful Life".
  • our family unit has a unique strength and sense of love & togetherness.
  • we have two lovely little beings in our life that give us the motivation to make this work.
  • my DH is going back to school for his masters in a field he is passionate about.
  • I Love my husband with all of my heart & soul, he is my best friend. (a bit old fashioned but there it is)
  • we have reconnected with family in a remarkable way.
  • we have been blessed with a support network of family and friends.
  • we have our health.
I know that I do not stop and take the time to be grateful for the good things in my life. It is so easy to get caught up in what is going wrong and to stray into more negativity. It is hard for me to take a closer look at my faults but when I do I find that there is not anything there that I cannot overcome.

This post is not overly witty. There is no hidden snark and I haven't even dropped the F-bomb once. I know that there are those of you who look forward to that type of post. Do not be discouraged, I have plenty of the funny and downright ridiculous left in me yet. Today, however, I want to focus on Keeping it Positive. That's all that you can do in the end.

I took a silly FaceBook quiz 2 days a go that I didn't publish because as I said, it was silly. It was something like; "what is your life quote?". At the time I thought, are you kidding me that is so overused & so generic. In retrospect, I kinda like it.

"When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade" ~Dale Carnegie

PLGC- to everyone keeping it positive.

Friday, August 28, 2009

confessions of a serial procrastinator...

My goodness, I swear I wasn't drinking when I took the photo in my previous post. I will leave it up however as a testament to my temporary insanity. The truth is that I have to straighten up now, fly right so to speak. It is crunch time and if I am completely honest with you internet and myself, then...

My stress is a monster of my own creation. I am a class act procrastinator. I don't set out to Not get things done. I am a master of self distraction. I will just read one more chapter, which turns into devouring a novel in one go. I will just watch this one re-run episode, only to discover it's a 4 hour marathon, 4 hours later. Hey kids you want to do an art project? These are just the tip of the iceberg.

I know that I have touched on this topic before, but I feel that I need to say it out loud again. I need to be held responsible for my lack of action. I have asked DH to kick my ass about it but that hasn't worked at all. It turns out that I become a total bitch when he points out my lack. This must be totally confusing to him too as I asked him to point such out. So I turn to you dear readers. I know that you are there and you may be few in number but I want your silently judging thoughts to be just that.

I do not have an uncharmed life but if I do not find a way to motivate my ass I fear it will become one. I try to understand how I could work a corporate job for 40++ hours per week and give it may all and then give my Real life shit. Here you go dear husband and kids an giant pile of steaming crap.

I can see that the DH is beyond stressed at this point. We move to Cali in little over 2 weeks and we are not ready. Everything takes longer than you think, so at this point it looks like we will not be ready (especially with my track record). That, it turns out, is just not acceptable. Not now, not ever again.

Something inside of me has to click and it has to be today. There are no more free passes, no more tomorrows, no more I'll get to that in 15 more minutes. I swear to all that is, if I come back here and write one more post about my own procrastination that I will kick my own ass. It'll be like that scene in fight club and my only excuse then is that I will be bloody and broken.

Thank you for sitting through that & since you were kind enough to read through to the end I will give you the immeasurable treat of this picture of my lovely children.

lovely in Chicago.

PLGC- faithful lurkers everywhere.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

and so on and so forth...

Apparently moving to a whole new state gives 6 year olds freaking panic attacks. Thank the effing gods for bach's White Chestnut flower essences . I myself, yes me, am a fan of the Rescue Remedy mixture. It also works for pets, more specifically cats.

To even suggest that stress may play a factor in our 4 & 6 year old childrens' current behavior is ludicrous. No I don't mean the rapper you fools! oF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES (play a part I mean). Those caps were an accident but I am gonna leave them because it has been the most aesthetically pleasing thing I have seen all week.

Anyway, this blog tarries and waxes and all that liturgical shit. I am too fucking freaked myself to even comprehend. Rescue remedy, really biatches, really..really.

PLGC- if you don't know you better ask (ax) sombody.

Monday, August 24, 2009

the one where she goes on a bit too long...

It has been a week or so since I have stopped by. I apologize dear blogosphere for my fickle demeanor. To say that life has been hectic would be an injustice to the circus-state fair-esque bit that has been my world as of late. I am not sure where even to begin. I believe I left off with a pretty scene at the home of my in-laws in IL, so that may be a start.

Suburbia in Northern Illinois was great. We headed further North to the land of Cheese and went on a tour of the Jelly Belly Factory, ahh Wisconsin. My S-I-L phrased it best "Lame-skie" (said in a long drawn out sing songy sorta way). It was like watching How it's Made while riding in a golf cart disguised as a train. The booty to be had at the end of the tour --aka enough jelly belly's to kill a horse--, made it well worth the tour, I think...

There was also the Mars Cheese Castle, that my dear Internet was like heaven made of cheese but here on Earth. I could live there forever and ever and ever. The most awesome Father-in-law ever stocked us up on quite the nice assortment of sausage and cheese. Oh-oh-oh and there was beer too.

Alas the Cheese bliss was not to last. Before we were through there were other states to be traversed. There were meet and greets with strangers, some of whom I had heard and some I had not. There were bloodied lips (my own by my son) and broken limbs (my M-I-L, the biggest trooper Evah!!) There was the electric slide and hotels with swimming pools. Booze in copious amounts and Family.

Family. I mean like woah! I felt my place in the ranks and I felt I belonged. It was a really good time for myself, my spouse and my children. The kids were the key. They seemed to erase any unease that may have occurred and rambunctiously worked their way into the hearts of everyone, I mean Everyone, present. To be a part of something as such was amazing and I am well pleased by the experience on the whole.

Now here we are. Here, now. 3 weeks from the move to Northern Cali, $1400 in car repairs, no moving budget to speak of and Love. So much love that I am awed and frightened all at the same time. Where did it come from and will it last? There is the fact that my eldest has now started 1st grade, which I will pull her from shortly. She will be the new kid but I don't know when.

I am officially freaking at how behind schedule I am with the packing. I am psyched that in this time of stress I have taken up running (even if it is only 1-2 miles at a go). I am falling more madly in love with my spouse than I ever thought possible and am whole heartedly looking forward to our 13th anniversary. Did you know the traditional gift for 13 years is lace and lingerie? CS is certainly looking forward to that.

All in all I am trying to fit a time warps worth of information into a few brief paragraphs. If you are still reading then I should say thank you. If not, then I really DGAF. So that being said, I hope that you too have felt the strange ebb and flow of time this summer and that your lives are moving forward in a positive way. Good night dear readers. I promise to wax less poetic & wordy our next go round.

Peace Love & Green Chile. -all

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Vacation Bliss

So our first family trip on a plane was relatively painless. Security in the Sunport moved along at a quick pace and the plane ride itself was smooth. EmBea said she had butterflies in her tummy and on her shirt. It was amazing to be re-amazed. Watching my children revel in the joys of jetting above our planet and hanging out in the atmosphere became just that, a joy. CS & CB sat across the aisle and seemed equally enthralled.

The trek through O'Hare to get to my MIL seemed a marathon but in a good way. EmBea was patching so it was a bit of chore to make sure that she wasn't running into people. There was much more hustle and bustle than either of the kids had ever been exposed to before. I cannot wait to take them into Chi-town proper.

Right now I am sitting in the serenity of my in-laws lovely home. We are surrounded by flowers, greenery, lakes and local wildlife. Well there was serenity until my oldest decided that everything was too quiet and stomped through the house like a herd of wild elephants. Damn I sounded like my own mother just then, no wonder she used to get so cranky when we did stuff like that. CB just went a round with the OJ and the OJ won. Citrus in the eye, not pretty.

I am very thankful to be here. It is a good warm up for the impending move. It also happens to be quite nice to be on an actual vacation for once. My little family is coming along quite nicely and it bodes well for things to come. Sometimes it is very easy to get caught up in the mom-ness (being mom). I think it is good to look at it through the eyes of a grandparent or aunt or uncle. They have so much more patience for letting them just be kids.

Well I have rambled on a bit and sucked away some of my vacation time into the internet vortex. I bid you all farewell and hope that you find the bliss in your family today as I have found in mine.

PLGC- family

Saturday, August 01, 2009

the best laid plans (not what you think)

Sorry that I have been lax on posting lately. Even though we do not have a definitive plan for this west coast move it seems to occupy most of my time. My life is fraught with sporadic packing, children induced anxiety and pure avoidance. The latter being my nemesis.

Me: "Oh there's a marathon of such and such on TNT, must sit on my ass and watch...Oh you brought home beer and Jim Beam, well we can't let that go to waist...Oh I haven't read the umpteenth update from the too many tweeps I follow...Oh wait did Momversation post something new (check out the one on procrastination, it's my fave)...oh..oh..oh.."

The Dear husband has noticed this, lets call it, laziness. He hesitates to bring it up to me for fear that I might get all hormonal and rant some illogical crap at him for a couple of hours. Which I probably would, so that makes him right, which pisses me straight off! Really why does he have to call me out on something I am beating myself up over. What's that you say? Yes I call him out for every little idiosyncrasy. Huh? I deserve to get what I dish out? Oh allright. Dammit internet Now You are pissing me off.

I have so much shit to get done and we are flying out to IL on Wednesday for a family shindig. I am totally happy for the impromptu vacation but all of my above said crap has made it more panic filled. I need the big flashing DON'T PANIC sign from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy right now. Why do I do this to myself? If I had the answer y'all I wouldn't be posing the question here. By the time we return it will be exactly 4 weeks til the move, 4 freaking weeks. Damn.

Man this whole post is sliding into some mighty whiny territory. That irks me too and now I am pissing myself off, WTF! Maybe that's the problem, I am apparently too effing pissed off to get anything done. Well I just can't accept that. Henceforth I give you permission dear readers to flip me the bird and tell me to stop the nonsense! I am moving to beautiful Northern Cali and I have fabu friends in the area. In the end it doesn't matter how we get there, just that we DO get there.

I am going to butcher this quote, mainly because I can't remember who wrote it and it is one CS uses all the time. I don't even know if I've ever seen it in print but I love it. "Planning is like looking for your lost wallet under a lamppost when you didn't lose it there in the first place" That pretty sums it up for me right now.

Move along, there is nothing to see here...

PLGC- movers & shakers