Friday, October 30, 2009

self centered

“at the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ~lao tzu

I have had this quote posted as my desktop background for the last 3 weeks. I have seriously contemplated it on occasion, mostly avoided any serious thought. It hits that nerve, the one that tells you to trust your gut and accept the truth. What is the truth, what is that thing that I bury at the back of my sub-conscious waiting to break out? Do I have the answer?

I am one of those people that have many passions. I am artistic and creative, I love to write, read and take on new things. I always start shit and I hardly ever finish it. Here are a couple of examples;

  • Green Bay Packer blanket I began crocheting in 1998 is about 10 stripes in and 30 inches long. The DH says he expects to be cremated w/ it at the very least.
  • 2 novels started, well into, never finished.
  • Baby blanket for my nephew’s 1st Christmas last December and his 1st birthday is in 2 days.
  • An article for a friends business.

The list goes on. ..

I know who I am and what I want; and dammit I do have the answer! You may wonder why I don’t share it with you. I don’t even share it with myself. It requires that I get past a couple of things first. I need to get off my lazy ass on a regular basis and stop doing everything but what I need to do. I need to admit that I sabotage myself. I need to eliminate the fear.

This is not at all how I expected this post to go. I expected to expound on my new city, Halloween costumes, the rigors of moving, etc. It’s all the same thing though…a giant fear of failure and the fear of success. So soon I promise I will regale you with stories of my babies, my new home, my community and anything else you care not to know. Right now I need to get what I want by being who I am because I do have the answer.

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