Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Like Woah!
This afternoon/evening has been bat shit crazy fucked up insane like whoa! No commas necessary. So the school nurse says BG needs an eye exam because her left eye is not seeing too clearly. Unfortunately the school nurses diagnosis turned out to be a No SHIT Sherlock sorta moment!! We took her in to the eye doctor for her first "real" check up ever. It is never good when they stick her on the "automatic look at the red house" machine and the assistant gets a look on her face like your child is a martian. Then you go in for the exam...
I told BG that no matter what she had to tell the truth. When she said she couldn't see the 6 inch letters on the wall behind me my first thought was Bullshit, little drama queen. My second thought was why the fuck is the optometrist so fucking fidgety? He says that he just cant get a handle on it so he adds some drops and dilates my 5 years old's eyes.
Amblyopia. Blindness in one eye due to the brain not computing the information so it develops one eye over the other. That is my off the cuff what I think the optometrist said to me definition. We see a specialist Friday. I have been on the support groups sites, I am feeling guilty and scared shitless, hence the sailor verbiage.
To top that off we had an artist meeting at the studio tonight. Needless to say it was not the perfect end to the evening. Maybe I just wasn't feelin' it. Maybe somebody just pissed in my cheerios and every Dumb Ass remark anyone made just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean i willingly listened to Lincoln Park on the way home, and I cannot stand angsty angry tunes. I give Props to the PM-L but other than that, like Woah!
I told BG that no matter what she had to tell the truth. When she said she couldn't see the 6 inch letters on the wall behind me my first thought was Bullshit, little drama queen. My second thought was why the fuck is the optometrist so fucking fidgety? He says that he just cant get a handle on it so he adds some drops and dilates my 5 years old's eyes.
Amblyopia. Blindness in one eye due to the brain not computing the information so it develops one eye over the other. That is my off the cuff what I think the optometrist said to me definition. We see a specialist Friday. I have been on the support groups sites, I am feeling guilty and scared shitless, hence the sailor verbiage.
To top that off we had an artist meeting at the studio tonight. Needless to say it was not the perfect end to the evening. Maybe I just wasn't feelin' it. Maybe somebody just pissed in my cheerios and every Dumb Ass remark anyone made just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean i willingly listened to Lincoln Park on the way home, and I cannot stand angsty angry tunes. I give Props to the PM-L but other than that, like Woah!
Monday, January 19, 2009
The terrible 3.5's and she doesn't even drop the F-bomb
BB really is a good kid. He is quite articulate and lovable, most of the time. He has taken to throwing some hellacious fits these days. We have been under a lot of stress from varying factors and I can see that affecting the way BB and BG act.
I truly want to shelter them but at the same time I find myself treating them like little adults. They are expected to be responsible for their outbursts and deal with their feelings. As harsh as that sounds I literally tell them every day how AWESOME they are and that they can do anything they dream.
Most likely I am raising little contradictions who will be forced to seek therapy at an early age (providing there is not an apocalypse first). I just don't want them to have false expectations about the world. At the same time I want them to have strong self confidence and be little kids.
I don't think I am an unreasonable mom. BG was crying after every ballet practice this last term, so instead of pushing her to do one more plié we stopped going after her last recital. The teacher was making her cry because she wasn't disciplined enough. She's FIVE! I want her to smile not cry. If it isn't for her then it isn't for me.
The same goes for BB, though at 3.5 there is not much more that pre-school. He loves it! He is good there, actually he is good in any public setting. I think it is just Mom he presses buttons with. I admit I have turned to a few of the nanny 911 tactics. I am not ashamed. The Screaming, that is apt to burst many an eardrum, during one of those sessions is less than appealing. I think however that I see progress.
I try to recall how BG was at this age and I scan through past blogs for insight. I don't think I quite have this motherhood thing figured out but this is what I do know...
I love my kids with every ounce and fiber of my being. I think they are stupendous little beings with infinite potential. Life will never throw at them more than they can handle and I will provide them the n'th degree of support until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
Oh and Sweetheart-CS-DH-the Hotness himself. I love you too.
PLGC -out
I truly want to shelter them but at the same time I find myself treating them like little adults. They are expected to be responsible for their outbursts and deal with their feelings. As harsh as that sounds I literally tell them every day how AWESOME they are and that they can do anything they dream.
Most likely I am raising little contradictions who will be forced to seek therapy at an early age (providing there is not an apocalypse first). I just don't want them to have false expectations about the world. At the same time I want them to have strong self confidence and be little kids.
I don't think I am an unreasonable mom. BG was crying after every ballet practice this last term, so instead of pushing her to do one more plié we stopped going after her last recital. The teacher was making her cry because she wasn't disciplined enough. She's FIVE! I want her to smile not cry. If it isn't for her then it isn't for me.
The same goes for BB, though at 3.5 there is not much more that pre-school. He loves it! He is good there, actually he is good in any public setting. I think it is just Mom he presses buttons with. I admit I have turned to a few of the nanny 911 tactics. I am not ashamed. The Screaming, that is apt to burst many an eardrum, during one of those sessions is less than appealing. I think however that I see progress.
I try to recall how BG was at this age and I scan through past blogs for insight. I don't think I quite have this motherhood thing figured out but this is what I do know...
I love my kids with every ounce and fiber of my being. I think they are stupendous little beings with infinite potential. Life will never throw at them more than they can handle and I will provide them the n'th degree of support until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
Oh and Sweetheart-CS-DH-the Hotness himself. I love you too.
PLGC -out
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Hiatus
So you clicked in on the off chance that I might again share with you my biting wit. That's not really a guarantee that I can make, but I got a little bit o' mama som'n som'n.
I was a SAHM for a very limited time in the scheme of things, yet I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that I am and have been a ladder climbing, corporate dwelling, working mom for quite some time now.
It's true, I am a WM, (why can't there be any cool monikers for working moms?) and I am only recently facing some of the bigger challenges that the title entails. We are the ever rising "in this economy" dual income family. I won't tell you the rest because, internet, it is too depressing. So I am an official child care juggler with one car, because my piece of Shit baby is broke the fuck down.
Do you know how hard it is to get child care for 3.5 hours 1 day per week and 2 days every other week. It isn't fair to me or the provider, arrgh! I pay through the nose for my 3 day a week cooperative pre-school and still can't manage to get it all worked out. Then there is the nightmare of the Southwestern public school system. I mean we just got through with winter break, What the FUCK do you mean they are having an in-service day. What the hell do they do on those days anyway?
That aside the husband is simultaneously pimping himself out for a promotion and applying to grad school. The chaos is like manna from heaven, nectar of the gods, shoelaces to shoes, well you get my drift. I love it all, the hustle and bustle, the potential for drastic change. The "economy" can't faze me because I have been too busted for too long. Rejection can't faze me because without it I wouldn't strive to be more.
The moral of this story is that there is no moral... Life is simply how well you roll with the punches.
PLGC-out
I was a SAHM for a very limited time in the scheme of things, yet I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that I am and have been a ladder climbing, corporate dwelling, working mom for quite some time now.
It's true, I am a WM, (why can't there be any cool monikers for working moms?) and I am only recently facing some of the bigger challenges that the title entails. We are the ever rising "in this economy" dual income family. I won't tell you the rest because, internet, it is too depressing. So I am an official child care juggler with one car, because my piece
Do you know how hard it is to get child care for 3.5 hours 1 day per week and 2 days every other week. It isn't fair to me or the provider, arrgh! I pay through the nose for my 3 day a week cooperative pre-school and still can't manage to get it all worked out. Then there is the nightmare of the Southwestern public school system. I mean we just got through with winter break, What the FUCK do you mean they are having an in-service day. What the hell do they do on those days anyway?
That aside the husband is simultaneously pimping himself out for a promotion and applying to grad school. The chaos is like manna from heaven, nectar of the gods, shoelaces to shoes, well you get my drift. I love it all, the hustle and bustle, the potential for drastic change. The "economy" can't faze me because I have been too busted for too long. Rejection can't faze me because without it I wouldn't strive to be more.
The moral of this story is that there is no moral... Life is simply how well you roll with the punches.
PLGC-out
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Uncle Buck
My mind is fired, hard wired to buck the system and then some. I try to get along, try to do things right, keep shit tight. It ain't workin' for me, I ain't workin' for me, gotta get it. I gotta fix my head or I'm headed straight for Hell, but I am already there, no care. No worry. No hurry.
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