Frustration into Fruition & over it...

Once upon a day...

I woke up and ran to Safeway for some coffee because we were out. Out of freaking coffee! Day two of tea was not really gonna be an option, after all I am a United State-ian. My favorite roast from peerless is French roast, so at this point I just need some Effin caffeine!

I digress.

So today was the BIG day. The day where we visit the brand-spanking new Ophthalmologist for EmBea's 4th follow up for her anisometropic amblyopia. Today was apparently a time to delve into the chaos of an over booked Eye Doctor's office.

We signed in, paid our co-pay, checked in with the Optometric technician, had Em's glasses assessed for the script and were assigned to room 3. Our lovely Ophthalmologist was very thorough. She determined that Em's old Rx was obsolete and also that she had developed astigmatism. Many eye drops were administered to dilate EmBea's eyes. She cried, she screamed and I held her eyelids open, Ala clockwork orange. This truly and completely sucked and felt cruel beyond all reason...

Cut to being told that our insurance did not cover refraction. (refraction=the final step of looking at the eyes after dilation -aka all of those effin drops) and that we could skip out or pay an additional $65. I am not a tortuous mommy, I paid up. Then the "primary" O.D. comes in. She then says OH..oh we need to refer you to a Pediatric Ophthalmologist. WTH, seriously what the fricken heck..That is where I thought we were.

Lesson learned. When entering a new state of residence with an amblyopic child ask, ASK..are you a Pediatric Ophthalmologist. Do NOT ask; do you treat children with Amblyopia? If they can, they will say yes and you will find yourself being charged above and beyond your budgeted co-pay.

So am I down, am I upset, am I pissed the eff off? NO. I was a earlier today when I barraged my DH with frantic texts. Now, I am not. It was the honest mistake of a Mama of an Amblyopic child who had thus far had an "easy go". I will never again take for granted the lack of bedside manner of our Doc in Albuquerque.

My advice to any Mama planning a move; double and triple check with your insurance as to what may or may not be covered. Double and triple check with the office that you choose that they cover your child. Pediatric seemed to be the key word in my experience.

Other than that...

I have moved forward. I have a plan, a new Rx for my wee turtle and a fricken positive attitude. We will see the new Pediatric OD soon and EmBea will be wearing her fab new script. We'll rock, Rap and roll with the flow. Until then we are Patching Strong, 4 hours per day and looking to improve even more. Our progress from March 2009 to now..20/200 to 20/60. I have faith and belief that we will succeed and my daughter will beat Amblyopia.

Thanks for allowing me to vent dear internet.

Peace, Love, green Chile and a Taco truck in Oakland.

-out

One Day...

Well it has been a while since I have had an urge to blog. I have enjoyed meandering through the blogiverse finding humor, tragedy, hope and a few things in between. It is strange to be on a journey such as this. I am quickly approaching the age of no return, 35. one month give a couple of days and there I will be, on that precipice of the other side of 30.

I have made big changes this last year. We have moved from the Mountain time zone to the PST without pause. Things seem to be moving in fast forward and slow motion all at the same time. I feel as if I have lived here all of my life. I feel like a stranger in a place I have never before been. I feel like having an adventure. I am on a great adventure!

As I peruse the aisle of preventative aging, my six year old by my side, I realize it is not vanity but necessity that I start to care for my vessel a bit more than I have in the past. As I browse 5k runs in the Bay area I find myself looking instead at the 12k. Why not push it to that next level? As I register my youngest for kindergarten I think, this is it, the beginning anew!

2010, twenty-ten, two thousand ten!! “I’m a driver, I’m a winner, things are gonna change, I can feel it.”

Peace, Love, Taco Trucks, Green Chile and so much more…

Oh and check this out….makes me happy :)(:

-out

self centered

“at the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ~lao tzu

I have had this quote posted as my desktop background for the last 3 weeks. I have seriously contemplated it on occasion, mostly avoided any serious thought. It hits that nerve, the one that tells you to trust your gut and accept the truth. What is the truth, what is that thing that I bury at the back of my sub-conscious waiting to break out? Do I have the answer?

I am one of those people that have many passions. I am artistic and creative, I love to write, read and take on new things. I always start shit and I hardly ever finish it. Here are a couple of examples;

• Green Bay Packer blanket I began crocheting in 1998 is about 10 stripes in and 30 inches long. The DH says he expects to be cremated w/ it at the very least.
• 2 novels started, well into, never finished.
• Baby blanket for my nephew’s 1^st Christmas last December and his 1^st birthday is in 2 days.
• An article for a friends business.

The list goes on. ..

I know who I am and what I want; and dammit I do have the answer! You may wonder why I don’t share it with you. I don’t even share it with myself. It requires that I get past a couple of things first. I need to get off my lazy ass on a regular basis and stop doing everything but what I need to do. I need to admit that I sabotage myself. I need to eliminate the fear.

This is not at all how I expected this post to go. I expected to expound on my new city, Halloween costumes, the rigors of moving, etc. It’s all the same thing though…a giant fear of failure and the fear of success. So soon I promise I will regale you with stories of my babies, my new home, my community and anything else you care not to know. Right now I need to get what I want by being who I am because I do have the answer.

Bea's Adventures in Amblyopia

Another guest post at Amblyopia Kids dot com...

Check it out...

Check out my Guest Blog at Amblyopia Kids :)