My goodness, I swear I wasn't drinking when I took the photo in my previous post. I will leave it up however as a testament to my temporary insanity. The truth is that I have to straighten up now, fly right so to speak. It is crunch time and if I am completely honest with you internet and myself, then...
My stress is a monster of my own creation. I am a class act procrastinator. I don't set out to Not get things done. I am a master of self distraction. I will just read one more chapter, which turns into devouring a novel in one go. I will just watch this one re-run episode, only to discover it's a 4 hour marathon, 4 hours later. Hey kids you want to do an art project? These are just the tip of the iceberg.
I know that I have touched on this topic before, but I feel that I need to say it out loud again. I need to be held responsible for my lack of action. I have asked DH to kick my ass about it but that hasn't worked at all. It turns out that I become a total bitch when he points out my lack. This must be totally confusing to him too as I asked him to point such out. So I turn to you dear readers. I know that you are there and you may be few in number but I want your silently judging thoughts to be just that.
I do not have an uncharmed life but if I do not find a way to motivate my ass I fear it will become one. I try to understand how I could work a corporate job for 40++ hours per week and give it may all and then give my Real life shit. Here you go dear husband and kids an giant pile of steaming crap.
I can see that the DH is beyond stressed at this point. We move to Cali in little over 2 weeks and we are not ready. Everything takes longer than you think, so at this point it looks like we will not be ready (especially with my track record). That, it turns out, is just not acceptable. Not now, not ever again.
Something inside of me has to click and it has to be today. There are no more free passes, no more tomorrows, no more I'll get to that in 15 more minutes. I swear to all that is, if I come back here and write one more post about my own procrastination that I will kick my own ass. It'll be like that scene in fight club and my only excuse then is that I will be bloody and broken.
Thank you for sitting through that & since you were kind enough to read through to the end I will give you the immeasurable treat of this picture of my lovely children.