Treasure & Gratitude

I think my last post came across a little more negatively than I intended. Sleep deprivation and stress can make something very clear to you and then you reread what you've written. So I'll own it, all of it, the negativity and the point that I was really only trying to get across to myself.

Life has been one heck of an adventure these days. I have recently forayed back in to the land of the working mother and it has been quite the challenge. I love my new job but I do not love childcare. Making childcare arrangements specifically! I don't even spend this much money on myself y'all! It has been hard being away from the kiddos so much too and HD! The adventure is spinning past in high speed and I am holding on tight.

On another note I spent the night before last at the emergency room with Embea until midnight. She has a spider bite. It is starting to look a little worse so we're off to get antibiotics and see our pediatrician today. The funny thing is we had a blast! We read books, drew pictures and played hangman. I take my quality interactions where I can and time with my girl always lifts me up!

Both kiddos have adjusted fairly quickly and I think they are behaving pretty well. I am definitely the recipient of more hugs these days and I love the way the jump up and down saying, "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" the minute I walk through the door! That's why I do it, strap on my work boots everyday and head out into the land of the working woman. I want them to feel secure and to be able to be happy kiddos! I am very blessed that I was able to spend most of the summer off with them, we had a grand time.

So there it is in a nutshell and none of it quite so bad. I really am trying to have a positive outlook every day. I am putting my intentions out there and I am getting results. I am ready for more good things to come into my life and I am very grateful for my husband, my children, my family, friends and every other wacky thing in between. So if my last post seemed vent-a-licious, it was. Sometimes you got to get the junk out to allow more space for the treasures.

PLGC & alot of gratitude for any of you who take the time to stop in an read my random musings.

MC -out

important things...

Sometimes we let life pass us by in a haze of disconnection. Suddenly our children are older, taller, smarter, no longer babies. You find yourself trying to recall the last week, the last month, the last year. Songs are written about how much you will miss this, landslides bring us down.

Tonight EB & I went well past bedtime to hang out and watch Akeelah & the Bee. Sharing this time with her, I realized how often as a parent that I don't listen to my kid. I get so wrapped up in my own emotions and stress that I forget that she is living this life right along with me. She has experiences in her world separate from me, that I take for granted. So I took advantage of some much needed time with my daughter. Hang bedtime, hang the dishes, hang mommy time after the kids are asleep!

We snuggled up on the couch and finished the movie, just her and I. Then as I tucked her into bed I realized she needs more than this, (more than a movie and a soda pop, more than a kiss goodnight see ya in the morning light). So I kissed her and then I told her how beautifully amazing she was. I told her that she was smart, funny and that she could do anything in the world.

As I whispered long overdue encouragements into my daughter's ear I saw her light shine. Her smile grew and her eyes crinkled in just the right way. I looked down and I was so totally and completely in love with my child. I had an instant memory of nursing her when she was just a few days old and how I used to call her my wise little ancient Japanese man. This is how she looked to me then and now, like a monk bestowing infinite wisdom if only I were open enough to receive it. As the words of my song enveloped us both I found peace in that moment. Her eyes drifted shut and her mouth stayed smiling. She is mine and I did not miss this.

I may be waxing philosophical and slightly poetic, but that is why I write here after all. I am going to miss these moments when they are gone. However I will not miss them because I let them pass me by, I will miss them because I took the time to have them. The images of my days old daughter and my seven year old daughter will meld and grow as time passes.

If we take the time to truly listen to our children, to truly experience them and love them for the amazing beings that they are, then we are truly blessed. As adults we weild the power to help shape our child's future, to boost their confidences, to help them live fearlessly and in complete and total love. It is easy to get caught up in the business of being an adult, just one more minute, mommy needs to do this thing or that, yada yada yada. So tonight take a moment, truly and without your own baggage look at your children. Love your children for the amazing beings that they are and will become. Trust me, you will be happy that you did. "You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back."

CB & EB digging holes, mama Loves you!

Peace, Love and Green Chile...MC -out

diggin' on crazy.

So anyone interested in obtaining a 4 year old, as is? He has a tendency to growl, yell, talk back, spit, kick you in the shin and run away. He also gives the most amazing heart wrenching hugs and says I love you at least a 100 times a day. Hmmmmmm. On second thought I think I'll keep him. I really do love those hugs.

just look at that smile...

I think back to two years ago when EB was the same age and I don't quite remember This. My little guy & I are together all day long everyday and there are a lot of meltdowns. There are a lot of good times too. He reminds me to play, to have fun. He also gets me damn mad, but I am learning what a gift patience is.

EB is pushing different sorts of buttons these days as well. She will be 7 in two weeks but you'd think she was turning 30. She knows everything, no really just ask her. She has perfected the blank stare and talking back under her breath. I had really hoped I had a few more years before that started to happen. I can't wait until she perfects the eye roll. I was really good at the eye roll, still am, just ask my mother. EB is turning into such a beautiful young lady and the remnants of my baby girl are fading away.

me & my little lady...

I'm not complaining, I kinda dig this crazy ride. I do have a few things in my day that get me through the rough patches. Mommy time outs help. Art, books, exercise and love helps. I have developed a bit of a texting habit. I am online a bit too much. It's like having an instant support team at my whim. I really like late night glasses of wine after the kids are tucked in. Their love helps.

All in all when I start to feel down, when I get a little blue I think about all of those good things and I have a little gratitude. My B-I-L says it best, "Monster through the day and have gratitude not attitude!" He's right. I have wonderful people in my life who love and support me and I have an amazing little family. They drive me effing nuts sometimes but I love them.

...and I am thankful for you, my few lingering readers who stick around for the crazy.

Peace, Love, Green Chile and Gratitude,

MC -out

the one where she goes on a bit too long...

It has been a week or so since I have stopped by. I apologize dear blogosphere for my fickle demeanor. To say that life has been hectic would be an injustice to the circus-state fair-esque bit that has been my world as of late. I am not sure where even to begin. I believe I left off with a pretty scene at the home of my in-laws in IL, so that may be a start.

Suburbia in Northern Illinois was great. We headed further North to the land of Cheese and went on a tour of the Jelly Belly Factory, ahh Wisconsin. My S-I-L phrased it best "Lame-skie" (said in a long drawn out sing songy sorta way). It was like watching How it's Made while riding in a golf cart disguised as a train. The booty to be had at the end of the tour --aka enough jelly belly's to kill a horse--, made it well worth the tour, I think...

There was also the Mars Cheese Castle, that my dear Internet was like heaven made of cheese but here on Earth. I could live there forever and ever and ever. The most awesome Father-in-law ever stocked us up on quite the nice assortment of sausage and cheese. Oh-oh-oh and there was beer too.

Alas the Cheese bliss was not to last. Before we were through there were other states to be traversed. There were meet and greets with strangers, some of whom I had heard and some I had not. There were bloodied lips (my own by my son) and broken limbs (my M-I-L, the biggest trooper Evah!!) There was the electric slide and hotels with swimming pools. Booze in copious amounts and Family.

Family. I mean like woah! I felt my place in the ranks and I felt I belonged. It was a really good time for myself, my spouse and my children. The kids were the key. They seemed to erase any unease that may have occurred and rambunctiously worked their way into the hearts of everyone, I mean Everyone, present. To be a part of something as such was amazing and I am well pleased by the experience on the whole.

Now here we are. Here, now. 3 weeks from the move to Northern Cali, $1400 in car repairs, no moving budget to speak of and Love. So much love that I am awed and frightened all at the same time. Where did it come from and will it last? There is the fact that my eldest has now started 1st grade, which I will pull her from shortly. She will be the new kid but I don't know when.

I am officially freaking at how behind schedule I am with the packing. I am psyched that in this time of stress I have taken up running (even if it is only 1-2 miles at a go). I am falling more madly in love with my spouse than I ever thought possible and am whole heartedly looking forward to our 13th anniversary. Did you know the traditional gift for 13 years is lace and lingerie? CS is certainly looking forward to that.

All in all I am trying to fit a time warps worth of information into a few brief paragraphs. If you are still reading then I should say thank you. If not, then I really DGAF. So that being said, I hope that you too have felt the strange ebb and flow of time this summer and that your lives are moving forward in a positive way. Good night dear readers. I promise to wax less poetic & wordy our next go round.

Peace Love & Green Chile. -all

A good day.

First off I'd like to say that CS totally ruined my Shia LeBeouf fantasy. Why does he have to bring up Holes, which then makes me think of Even Stevens and ewww. The potential cougar in me just walks away and begs me to forget she was ever there. So on that note we took the kiddos to see Transformers 2 today. CS and myself are a transformered out, but in a good like my head is vibrating with this sound, sorta way.

In other news; I am on day 2 of the Nutra Nail 5-7 Day Growth Calcium Formula. I have high hopes based on a reveiew from a friend. I am still recovering from a bad fake nail incedent a couple of months ago. Incedentally I think that would be a great name for a crazy chick rock band. I'd listen to that.

So here is the wind up to my day. Barbie Hollywood Hair Salon. My daughter and I were casting Barbie in film and musical; so they had to look just right. Below are the acheived results, enjoy.

isn't she beautiful!

PLGC-Barbie mama's everywhere.

Me and the kiddos.

They love self portraits almost as much as i do!

Photo Friday: Attack of the "Killer" Tomatoes