just keep swimming...

"just keep swimming, just keep swimming"... really i need to say this over and over, otherwise i might kill some bitches. i am the perfect candidate for my job, i keep shit to myself, i show up on time, i do what the corporate pimps expect of me. y'all, i am seething inside. i know that they don't give a flip about me or mine. they want my body, my hours, my percentage of this versus that. i know they pay me, they'll even crap out an extra buck or two if i get things right, but..i am away from the kiddos ten hours a day after commute, & gas is rising astronomically yet again, & i've been a stay at home mom, or running my own business for the last 3 years. i want to tell them [the corp. pimps] to go screw themselves, but i am the good little drone, i don't.

wow! that was a bit pent up, and out of my system now, sorry 'bout that. "just keep swimming, just keep swimming"...

bebe girls 3rd birthday is next wednesday, she wants a wig {2 to be exact} wiggity what?! any of y'all who have had the pleasure of max and ruby's beauty shop episode/book will know where this comes from. i'd bend over backwards for

Rockstar Mommy's

cinderella party about now, alas. okay so maybe i am being mellow dramatic, just a tad. 3 years old, woah! bebe boy is on the "i have an older sister" rapid advancement track. he is learning how to scream and fit inappropriately, and bite/pinch/pull et all. i am missing it, dammit i really am!

"just keep swimming, just keep swimming"..

Cute to insane in 0.6...

How could you not just want to gobble that up? If only she were that cute all of the time. Since my foray back into the work force, and HD's SAHD venture she has turned into the devil. Okay so maybe it isn't that bad, but pretty close. She whines, she screams, she doesn't share. Hitting her brother over the head with something, or pushing him down, has become a daily occurance. Sharing, someone please tell me where this most basic skill has gone. I think she is punishing us, for my working. She does however think that I work solely to make money to buy her toys. This is a concept she has developed on her own. I am sure once I am on a set, and early schedule things will mellow out. Until then, we have many meltdowns, make-ups, and hugs. -oh and beer, an important end of the day ingredient.

Superior Mediocrity

I feel as though I am superior in the land of mediocrity. Really though, is it just me or has the work force become a gaggle of pimple faced little shits? This new job training is drawn out, and time consuming, but they give you the tools. If one more little dweeb asks the trainer to slow down I might scream, out loud. To top that off, I come home and BB is doing something new. His expressions, movements, everything seem to be trucking along without me. BG too... She is saying the cutest things, and I look on aghast that she can have these sort of developments without me. I thought I would become superfluous somewhere in the teenage years, not at age "almost" three. I guess that I will deal. The sheer number of moms who know nothing else but seeing their kids right before bed-time has ceased to astound me. I have lost my (unknown to me until now) superiority SAHM complex. Now I just think gawd, what I wouldn't give to be home with my kids. I miss it, I really do. I know it's not forever, but what else will I miss in this first year? His first steps, her first solo bike ride. I am sad being the superior in this land of mediocrity.

Jo-Jo's Circus

I miss this! I have only been back to work for 3 days, but it seems more like 3 months. Unfortunately Hot Da doesn't get dual naps, BG is still on the no nap kick. BB is all over the place, he saved the crawling milestone for my foray back into the work force. Work is weird, I am actually having massive grown up interaction. Not to mention my friend

Tom

is in town from Baltimore, so I will be full up on the grown up time. I am not sure I can handle it.
I'm not sure Hot Da can handle it. He is going from 60+ hours per week running a business, to 10+ hours per day holding climber, and screamer, aka BB & BG in check. The favorite new saying in the house "climber no climbing" and for BG "Seriously that was the last pull-up!" Also he is developing a certain hatred for Jo-Jo's circus. So that's the atmosphere in the world of Hot Mommy lately, it's sure to get even more interesting. We might convince Hot Daddy to start his own blog, but don't hold your breath!

Just Roll

Well my short lived status as a SAHM has come to a bleary end. Before I had the kids I was like " I am soooo going back to work, I am not gonna be relegated to staying at home, yadayadayada." Then I had my kids, and well it all changed, of course, Dammit! In the end I am still doing what it takes for my two cuties. I start next week, doing the whole call center thing, which comes with the whole benefits thing, and a paycheck, so. I'll be working mid afternoon to about 9 pm, but for now the hubs will be with the kids, which makes me feel a tiny bit better.

On another front, we have an application in with a local land trust for live/work artisan housing. It's income based, and if we got in it would be really cool. So If y'all got your internet vibes going... The spaces won't be completed until June 1st, but they are brand spanking new,great architecture, and the space ooooh the space, ooh ooh ooh and a dishwasher. So here is this whole new opportunity for HD to really make a run at his art career. It's not like we don't get the ins and outs of running a business. This time we'd have only ourselves to call the shots. We waffle, what to do? Either way, me going back to work has to happen right now, otherwise I might fall off the face of, well the internet you know.

The good thing about me, I see the humor, and as always in this house, I ain't dead. I guess I'll just roll.

HM opens up, & you wish she hadn't.

Okay, so I tend to be really obscure in this blog. I just waffle on the whole issue of opening a window to my life. In a nutshell, we just ended a 3 1/2 year run with a framing/gallery business. Hot Daddy's parents were the "silent" uhm er "money" behind the scenes. They wanted small businesses, they called us, we fell for the dream. My advice, do not go into business with family. It really and truly does inevitably go wrong. Your ideas don't coincide with theirs, you get the art world, they don't have a clue.

They invest way to much money in an established 30 year old [LEMON] business. Your husband works his ass off for said 3 1/2 years, 6 sometimes 7 days a week, no insurance, no vacations, just a tad over poverty level(enough to keep you from getting Medicaid). They already think you'll fail, before you even get started. They say they'll help you get it going, then proceed to get back into the corporate world, and move thousands of miles away. They don't allow you to hire any employees. Woah, sorry, the list goes on, but you get the gist

The funny part: HD turned away 5x the $$business in his last month, than he had in the same month of the last two years. That is the way the cookie crumbles. Sorry for the cliche. What really sucks is that, we didn't get a last paycheck. Who works two goddamn excruciating final weeks and doesn't get paid? We do. The way my in-laws are, it wasn't even an arguable point, and we wouldn't ask. In their eyes they invested enough, they contributed money so who the fuck cares about three years two kids et al. The sage advice: You guys are smart, it will all work out. Have y'all ever tried to feed your kids on smart?

This is why I don't tend to open up y'all. I feel like I am spewing an entire shit fest, and it is only the tip of the iceberg. Fortunately, we are smart and resourceful. The interim a little scary, but finally we are free.